Nasty, Nasty Clients!
“The customer is always right stinky”, with such gems as

once had a client who I’m pretty sure had several untreated STDs. I was doing a Prince Albert jewelry change and was turned around to open my packages and heard him get up. I heard a bunch of shuffling and from the corner of my eye I could see him trying to quickly peel all of the dead flaky skin off of his penis. I told him that I had to get something from the hall and quickly left the room. In the hall I put on a medical mask and came back into the room again after washing my hands. All I can remember is this disgusting penis covered in open sores and flaky dead skin and trying my damnedest not to throw up. I quickly changed the jewelry for him and let him leave. I spent the next thirty minutes disinfecting the bed over and over.

the worst hygiene problem I’ve encountered was a session during a hood piercing. Once she was on the table and went to go spread her legs, I got a blast of a smell that nearly floored me, but the visual was the worst part. This stringy white and yellow shit was all over her cooter, and as she spread her legs, it stretched like a spider web. It was nasty. Stinky crotch goo.

It's like a train wreck. you can't stop reading. you kinda feel like you have to take a shower after reading these. more better in a minute...

“The customer is always right perverted”

I was piercing a PA on an unusually quiet man and was ready to clean his skin with Technicare. I did so in my normal fashion and he got an erection, but that can be fairly common, and I turned around to my stand to open the sterile packages and get ready to mark and do the piercing when I heard an “UUGGHHHH...” I turned around to see that he had jerked himself off onto my piercing room floor... in, like, five seconds... I was just starting out in my piercing career, so I think all I could say was, “um, you’re going to have to come back another day and get pierced by (male piercer).”

After performing a genital piercing, my usual M.O. is to clean up my tray turned somewhat away from the client while they’re getting dressed, to give them some privacy. Once I turned back towards my male client to find him furiously jacking off. When I exclaimed that he couldn’t do that here, he remarked calmly that he just wanted to “make sure it still worked!”

“The customer is always right suicidal”

I had a regular client that had been in jail for a week. She had held all 40+ piercings open with little bits of comb that she had inserted and burnt the ends with a lighter to melt them and keep them in. This includes genital piercings. I reinserted all of her jewelry for her, having to cut out the bits of plastic comb while she told me tales of sharing needles, gang rape, and other biohazardous activities. When I went home that night, I showered with Betadine from head to toe. Seriously.

I had a client come in with PA problems. He said it was really irritated and that the aftercare was extremely embarrassing. When asked what was he was doing, he told me he had other people urinating on his piercing. He had read that urine was sterile and flushed out the piercing... but he didn’t realize that it’s his own urine, not other people’s.