A cat in Oklahoma City survived being closed in a refrigerator for four weeks without food or water, according to a Local 6 News report.

Tyce Honer, 4, said he forgot he had put Louis the 10-pound cat in a refrigerator in the family's barn to keep it safe.

When the cat was missing, the family feared it may have been eaten by coyotes.

However, four weeks after the cat disappeared, the boy's father decided to clean out the appliance and found the cat weighing only 3 pounds.

local6.com - News - Cat Survives 4 Weeks In Refrigerator

A police spokesman said: "The law doesn't say you can't make love on the bonnet of a police car."

Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

please do laugh when i die

Pastor Electrocuted in Baptismal

oh that was just too good not to post

Woman found hanged on tree

A 42-year-old Frederica woman apparently climbed up a tree with a length of rope and hanged herself from a branch after 9 p.m. Tuesday, Delaware State Police said Wednesday.

The body, suspended from a branch about 15 feet above the ground, was easily visible from passing vehicles before the scene was blocked off about 11 a.m. Wednesday.

Authorities were not alerted earlier because passers-by thought it was a Halloween display.

eathufu.com

-- The Healthy Human Flesh Alternative!

Accused Nude Burglar Asks for Shorts

A man accused of trying to burglarize a home while naked Tuesday stopped in mid-escape to ask the victim for a pair of shorts, a sheriff's spokeswoman said.

The victim threw the shorts to the accused burglar, who then fled, said Susan Quayle, a spokeswoman for the Yavapai County Sheriff's Department

City Pages - The Sins of the Father

When Father Ryan Erickson celebrated Mass at St. Patrick's Church in Hudson, Wisconsin, the show was on and he was the star.

As he put it in an e-mail to his congregants, he liked his rituals "rich and mysterious"--a stark change from the "orgy of handshaking and hugs" to which they had become accustomed. The way Erickson hoisted the host over his head and held it aloft for a minute or more made a vivid contrast to the perfunctory elevation that the senior priests favored. Tears rolled down his cheeks during the ceremony. The monk's cassock he affected billowed theatrically, hiding the bulge at his waist from the pistol he always packed there.

...On February 5, 2002, O'Connell and his 22-year-old intern James Ellison were shot to death in O'Connell's office. The crime shocked the community because murders are so unusual in Hudson, and because one of the victims was such a prominent person.

The police had no real suspects three days later, when O'Connell's funeral was held at St. Patrick's. Among the priests taking part in the ceremony was Father Ryan, dressed in simple white vestments and behaving with uncharacteristic restraint. He said a quiet homily.

...For two years, the questions continued. This week, at last, St. Croix County Attorney Eric Johnson is presenting evidence connecting Father Ryan to the murders. Johnson will offer an explanation for what Erickson and O'Connell were talking about in the minutes before the murder. And he will confirm what has long been whispered by Erickson's harshest critics: that the crusading sexual moralist had been engaging in the same crimes against children that have devastated the Catholic church in recent years.

Father Ryan won't answer those charges. On December 19, 2004, he hung himself in the hallway of the church where he'd been reassigned, St. Mary's of the Seven Dolors, in Hurley, Wisconsin. His suicide came the day after investigators executed a search warrant on his living quarters, looking for evidence that would connect him to the murders. What they discovered, according to a front-page Pioneer Press article, is child pornography on his computer, some of it involving bondage.

Fight for survival
By Toby Harnden
(Filed: 18/09/2005)

A pair of marauding pit bulls emerged from the edge of the bayou beyond New Orleans as the floods receded. Bred as fighting animals, their bloodlust had been sharpened by starvation. The dogs, which were wearing collars, had survived for more than two weeks but food was scarce.

They stalked towards their prey, a lone bull: a massive beast more than 10 times their combined weight. Like a wrestling tag team, the bitch and the dog attacked with awesome ferocity, leaping at the bull's head and latching on to its muzzle.

The stricken bull repeatedly shook the dogs off, flinging them up to 15 feet in the air. But they took turns to keep up the attack, exhausting the bull which was by now smeared with blood. Even after the bull trampled the bitch, leaving it dazed, the dog stepped up its attack.

The terrifying assault highlighted the US military's concern that pit bulls would form packs and could attack or even kill soldiers.

It was too dangerous for an unarmed witness to intervene but The Sunday Telegraph flagged down a National Guard truck. Seeing what was happening, a soldier shot the bitch in the head.

The dog paused before resuming the attack. It took two bullets to stop it dead.

http://www.myscienceproject.org/

Sentencing for a Colorado woman who had sex with high school boys has been postponed. She's been hurt in an auto accident that could land her in even bigger trouble.

Police say she was a passenger in an SUV being driven by a 14-year-old girl.

...Johnson has pleaded guilty to sexual assault and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Police say she held parties for teen-age boys for a year, gave drugs to eight and had sex with five. She told police she wanted to be known as a "cool mom."

Johnson could now be charged with allowing an under-age driver to take the wheel.

#

old now, but this is right up my kind of bunghole

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatulence
and see also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Professional_farter
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_humour
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lighting_farts

all gripping reading.

Flatulence ignition or "fart lighting" is the practice of setting fire to the gasses produced by flatulence. It is practised primarily among young men, but discouraged for its potential for causing injury. Lighting such gas can result in burns or explosions. Clothing or hair may catch fire and sensitive tissues can be damaged.

Such experiments may occur among young men on camping trips or in single-sex group residences such as dormitories or fraternity houses, but the flammability of bodily gases has caused serious problems in the operating room and also in slaughterhouses.

At least one patient is known to have exploded while undergoing cauterization of a rectal polyp. An electric spark ignited the patient's intestinal gases, resulting in a six-inch (15-cm) hole in the patient's large intestine. However, this was sewn up, and the patient recovered [1].

Foetuses found at Bogota airport

Colombian police have found the bodies of three human foetuses hidden in statues destined for the United States.

The discovery was made by officers searching for contraband at Bogota Airport on Tuesday.

The corpses were wrapped in plastic and concealed inside statues of Christian icons, which were smashed open.

rapture index

Nasty, Nasty Clients!
“The customer is always right stinky”, with such gems as

once had a client who I’m pretty sure had several untreated STDs. I was doing a Prince Albert jewelry change and was turned around to open my packages and heard him get up. I heard a bunch of shuffling and from the corner of my eye I could see him trying to quickly peel all of the dead flaky skin off of his penis. I told him that I had to get something from the hall and quickly left the room. In the hall I put on a medical mask and came back into the room again after washing my hands. All I can remember is this disgusting penis covered in open sores and flaky dead skin and trying my damnedest not to throw up. I quickly changed the jewelry for him and let him leave. I spent the next thirty minutes disinfecting the bed over and over.

the worst hygiene problem I’ve encountered was a session during a hood piercing. Once she was on the table and went to go spread her legs, I got a blast of a smell that nearly floored me, but the visual was the worst part. This stringy white and yellow shit was all over her cooter, and as she spread her legs, it stretched like a spider web. It was nasty. Stinky crotch goo.

It's like a train wreck. you can't stop reading. you kinda feel like you have to take a shower after reading these. more better in a minute...

“The customer is always right perverted”

I was piercing a PA on an unusually quiet man and was ready to clean his skin with Technicare. I did so in my normal fashion and he got an erection, but that can be fairly common, and I turned around to my stand to open the sterile packages and get ready to mark and do the piercing when I heard an “UUGGHHHH...” I turned around to see that he had jerked himself off onto my piercing room floor... in, like, five seconds... I was just starting out in my piercing career, so I think all I could say was, “um, you’re going to have to come back another day and get pierced by (male piercer).”

After performing a genital piercing, my usual M.O. is to clean up my tray turned somewhat away from the client while they’re getting dressed, to give them some privacy. Once I turned back towards my male client to find him furiously jacking off. When I exclaimed that he couldn’t do that here, he remarked calmly that he just wanted to “make sure it still worked!”

“The customer is always right suicidal”

I had a regular client that had been in jail for a week. She had held all 40+ piercings open with little bits of comb that she had inserted and burnt the ends with a lighter to melt them and keep them in. This includes genital piercings. I reinserted all of her jewelry for her, having to cut out the bits of plastic comb while she told me tales of sharing needles, gang rape, and other biohazardous activities. When I went home that night, I showered with Betadine from head to toe. Seriously.

I had a client come in with PA problems. He said it was really irritated and that the aftercare was extremely embarrassing. When asked what was he was doing, he told me he had other people urinating on his piercing. He had read that urine was sterile and flushed out the piercing... but he didn’t realize that it’s his own urine, not other people’s.

Barking man bites Louisiana mail carrier

HOUMA, La. — A mail carrier wasn't worried when he heard barking. The man had already made sure the pooch in the yard he was about to deliver to was chained up.

It wasn't the barking dog that got him, it was a barking man, police said.

Mark D. Plumb, 20, of Butler, Mo., was arrested and charged with simple battery Wednesday after he ran barking from a house and bit the letter carrier on the shoulder, Houma Police spokesman Lt. Todd Duplantis said.

Plumb said he bit the carrier as a joke and has no history of criminal activity or mental illness, police said.

Man charged with putting urine in coffee

Postal workers who thought their coffee tasted funny had their suspicions confirmed after they set up a video camera in their break room.

Now, a colleague has been charged with putting urine in their coffee after he was caught in the act on tape, officials said.

Thomas Shaheen, 49, a vehicle mechanic for the U.S. Postal Service, was charged Aug. 5 with two misdemeanor counts of adulteration of food or placing harmful objects in food. He has been ordered to appear in Municipal Court on Monday.

The News Blog: We told you so:

...Well, motherfuckers, the alligators are feasting on dead nigger and there isn't an Iraqi in sight. And Bush is trying to gladhand his way through a mess which has stunned FOX reporters. I mean, Shepard Smith is calling Fox's talking heads liars ON THE AIR.

CNN rips Bush in print and online after nearly five years of sleep.

Instead of hearing what we had to say about Bush, you called John Kerry a coward, mocked Max Cleland, blamed everything but herpes on Bill Clinton. You enabled Bush into this mess and now you're shocked?

Now, Fox can be outraged, now, Wash Times and Union Leader call Bush weak? Well, his coward ass disappeared in 2001. But you rather blame Michael Moore for that.

He can't even explain the Iraq war to a grieving mother.

So what did you do?

Write the most vile things about her and her dead son. Attacked her patriotism and her honesty.

Well, motherfuckers, and that means you, fat ass Goldberg and your master, Rich Lowry, PNAC Bitch Beinart, the racist wannabe white Malkin and the little fucktards at LGF, Bareback Andy and "Diversity" Instacracker, all you backstabbing, fag hating uncle tom ministers, you can see Dear Leader in action. America's largest port is gone, maybe forever, gas is $5+ a gallon and FEMA is coming. Whores come faster with old men than FEMA is getting to NOLA.

How did your wartime President react? Like Chiang Kai-Shek when the Yellow River flooded in 1944, with corrupt indifference.

Bush, the man your fever dreams built into the next Winston Churchill when he is really the live action Chauncey Gardiner, has failed to everyone, in plain sight, without question. Rick Perry is trying to save his ass, but it ain't working. NOLA looks like ANGOLA and that ain't flying.

Say 9/11 changed everything now, motherfuckers. Ooops, 9/11, 9/11. 9/11. Doesn't work anymore? Gee, maybe the sea of alligator MRE's once known as the citizens of New Orleans has something to do with that. Now you can shut the fuck up about 9/11. Bush just proved what would happen with another 9/11. Dead Americans as far as the nose can smell.

Drunken Chris Hitchens muttered some nonsense about blacks having it so good here. The poor man needs to stay in his bottle or go to Betty Ford before someone beats his treasonous ass stupid. Islamofascism means what, now motherfucker? Shove Islamofascism up your well travelled ass. The most dangerous thing to average Americans is not some mullah in Iraq, not even Osama Bin Laden, but George Bush. If he doesn't get you killed in Iraq, he'll fuck up saving your city so it turns into Escape from New Orleans. Armed junkies roaming the streets, looking for a fix, robbing and looting like Serb paramilitaries and about as sober.

George Bush's ineptitude has killed far more Americans than Osama could have dreamed of.

Some of you still try to see the clothes on the Dauphin, but he's as naked as Peter North around Jenna Jameson. Bush fucked up so bad, FOX turned on him like a rabid dog.

You can't hide behind racism forever. Bush fucked up, Bush is a weak, callous leader and the world knows this like it knows few other things. And all the stolen TV's in the world cannot hide that.

http://christianexodus.org/

Ukrainian vampire drugged children and drank their blood

this is the part where I say the f-work repeatedly. fuck, fuck, fuck, etc. it’s supposed to be the part where I rise above the circumstances of my imminent death, I have a moment of clarity, all the pieces fall together, I’m given a glimpse of the big plan, I feel ultimately connected to a greater power. But it’s not. fuck, etc.

So my brother has started a web site here as well...and, like him, it is very lame indeed...

I just got the strangest spam:

Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!

It seems others have received this spam and wondered WTF already.

A celebration of non-penetration.

MissPoppy.com | - Unborn Baby Ornament - US Troop Model: "Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?"

WholesomeWear home

New York Post Online Edition: "Princeton University math whiz Michael Lohman had a creepy sexual secret, cops say.

"For three years, the married grad student quietly terrorized Asian women on campus by clipping snippets of their hair, spraying them with urine and pouring semen or urine in their drinks at university dining halls, cops say."

Death Charged in Theft From Cemetery

Yahoo! News - Thief Steals Poop From Woman Walking Dog: "The hunt is on for a turd burglar. Police in San Diego are searching for a gunman who swiped a bag of poop from a woman out walking her dog.



The woman told police that she was out walking her dog, Misty, on Monday night when a man in his 20s ran up behind her and grabbed the bag she was holding.

When the gunman discovered what was in it, he threw it down in disgust, pointed his gun at the 32-year-old woman and demanded money, San Diego police detective Gary Hassen said.

He then aimed his .22-caliber semiautomatic at Misty and pulled the trigger twice but the gun didn't fire, Hassen said."

MadnessCombat.com

Jarvis Products Corp Home

VIDEO. That's right. Demo vids. Love the "head dropper" in the "pork line" of products.

Ananova - Five inch knife found in man's head

We've all read about stupid sex laws. Well, here's a couple who decided to illustrate just how stupid most of them are.

Nude Bible Study

ABC News: Alaska Woman Charged in Genital Amputation: "A woman upset about an impending breakup with her boyfriend cut off the man's penis and flushed it down a toilet, police said."

amcgltd: Only a Stupid Guy Would Think This Might Work: "A man who used an internet chatroom to try to set up a mass suicide on Valentine's Day had been trying for at least five years to persuade women to engage in sex acts with him and then kill themselves, it has been revealed."

SPIDER-MAN"S GREATEST BIBLE STORIES!

New Scientist Breaking News - Semen acts as an anti-depressant

Yahoo! News - Woman Accused of Giving Lethal Sherry Enema: "HOUSTON (Reuters) - A Texas woman has been indicted for criminally negligent homicide for causing her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, a police detective said on Wednesday.

"Tammy Jean Warner, 42, gave Michael Warner two large bottles of sherry on May 21, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas, police detective Robert Turner in Lake Jackson, Texas, told the Houston Chronicle.

"'We're not talking about little bottles here,' Turner said. 'These were at least 1.5-liter bottles.'

"Warner, 58, was said to have an alcohol problem and received the wine enema because a throat ailment left him unable to drink the sherry, Turner told the newspaper.

"'I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I've ever heard of someone actually doing it,' said Turner, who led the lengthy investigation in the case.

"The woman admitted administering the enema, but denied causing her husband's death, the Chronicle said."

CNN.com - Massive cow manure mound burns for third month - Jan 31, 2005:

"Dickinson, who makes his living in the cattle business, has an environmental problem on his hands that is vexing state officials: a 2,000-ton pile of burning cow manure.

"Dickinson owns and manages Midwest Feeding Co. about 20 miles west of Lincoln, which takes in as many as 12,000 cows at a time from farmers and ranchers and fattens them for market.

"Byproducts from the massive operation resulted in a dung pile measuring 100 feet long, 30 feet high and 50 feet wide that began burning about two months ago and continues to smolder despite Herculean attempts to douse it."