Well I'm back. We'll c.

joy. happiness. contentment. meaning. direction. providential moving.

that's how i feel right now.

bet you'd never hear that on this blog.

and maybe in love again too

mmm...love

SuicideGirls > Words > Chuck Palahniuk 2

The Morning News - TiVo.

i have found it very weird that so many people found out about my site going back "up" (whatever the "fuck" that means) so quickly. were they going to look at the same few words printed there every day for over a month? or are they really all using newsreaders? either way, i guess i'm happy.

lowbrow dot com: "So i told this christian girl that i liked, that 'jesus died for your sins.' then she gave me the best head ever, THANK YOU JESUS!"

Open Brackets: "If I am anything to go by, man is a foolish animal." "I am leaving this world in which the heart must either break or else turn to bronze." "The success of many books is due to the affinity between the mediocrity of the author’s ideas and those of the public."

THEY THREW GOD OUT OF THE GARDEN. just in case i want to read this later.

dooce is one of the coolest websites there is. Let's just leave it at that. "Call this website a “diary” or a “journal.” I prefer “piece of self-loathing, self-indulgent, narcissistic crap,” thank you very much."

LarkNews.com: "COMMUNITY: Teen hopes to have sex before Rapture"

CAPS CITY, Fla. -- Kurt Maniotti, 17, a junior at Gilbert Farreah High School, says he's had a wonderful Christian upbringing, and for years has dreamed of his first sexual encounter with his wife on their wedding night. But after his pastor's sermon last week about the second coming of Christ, Maniotti was plunged into anxiety that one day the trumpet will sound and he'll be caught up to meet the Lord in the air — without ever having enjoyed the marriage bed.

"I've been really praying that the Lord would delay His return until I can have sex," Maniotti says, sitting on the edge of his bed, hands clasped nervously. So great is his concern that he's looked into moving to Alabama and Mississippi, where marriage laws are more lenient and he could take a teenage bride. He's also considered marrying a near-stranger, having sex, then having the marriage nullified, but his conscience disallows it. Still, he can't shake the fear of missing what he regards as "probably the highest form of earthly pleasure."

GIRLS ARE PRETTY:

Saturday, October 4, 2003

She's Locked In The Meat Locker Day!

If you're wondering where your girlfriend is, she's locked in that meat locker over there with the guy everyone thinks she should be with because there's no chemistry between the two of you. I'm sure nothing's going on inside there. I mean, yeah, they probably have to kind of cuddle together to keep warm, but I'm sure it means nothing to her. She's only doing it because she has no choice. Relax, she loves you. She could stay inside that meat locker with the guy everyone, including you, thinks is the right guy for her forever and it wouldn't make any difference. Your love is strong enough to conquer an undeniable need for the one she's supposed to be with.

Anyway, these two strong guys are gonna hold your arms and just make you stand there staring at the locked door for a couple hours. Your girlfriend and the guy she's supposed to be with are locked up in there.

Happy She's Locked In The Meat Locker Day!


Friday, October 3, 2003

Last In Line For Cookies Day!

Today, there are delicious cookies that come out of the oven piping hot. The boy in the front of the line gets the hottest, moistest, most wonderful cookie in the whole wide batch. The boy in the back of the line gets the shittiest cookie. Today, you are the boy in the back of the line. Today, you get the shittiest cookie, if you even get a cookie.

Happy Last In Line For Cookies Day!

lernu!

OtR | MP3 Rarity of the Month

8. Professional Daydreamer
Words: Bergquist/Detweiler
Music: Bergquist

Part of me
You are a part of me
I never want to lose
Hard for me
This is too hard
Maybe I can't get through
What will I miss the most
Pray that I'm haunted by your ghost

Listening
You're always listening
I don't know what to say
Why don't you turn and run at break-neck speed
Just to get away
And when you catch your breath
Pray I said every word I meant

Alright it's alright now
Alright it's alright

Broken down
We're all so broken down
Bandages on our wings
I know I don't have to tell you
Only broken hearts can sing
I'm hoping for a sign
Pray that I'm anything but fine

Some things are never gonna change
You ought to know by now

Honestly, OtR is at least 50% of what's keeping me alive these days. Good Lord.

10. Changes Come
Words: Bergquist/Detweiler
Music: Bergquist

Changes come
Turn my world around

I have my father's hand
I have my mother's tongue
I look for redemption in everyone

I wanna wear your ring
I have a song to sing
It ain't over babe
In fact it's just begun

Changes come
Turn my world around
Changes come
Bring the whole thing down

I wanna have our baby
Somedays I think that maybe
This ol' world's too fucked up
For any firstborn son

There is all this untouched beauty
The light the dark both running through me
Is there still redemption for anyone

Jesus come
Turn the world around
Lay my burden down
Turn this world around
Bring the whole thing down
Bring it down

And it make me float free
To feel how small my life must be
And it make me float free
To feel how small my life must be #

This is what I'll remember most about dying
So many moments like ghosts
Slipping through my hands in vain
You were 80% angel
10% demon
The rest was hard to explain

This American dream may be poisonous
Violence is contagious
Crowded or empty
I walk these city streets alone
Whoever brought me here
Is gonna have to take me home

This is what I'll remember most about dying
Loading these moments like a gun
Hoping to kill the pain
You were 80% angel
10% demon
The rest was hard to explain #

JS Online: 130 cats removed from south side house

This is a reason TO live there.

#: "JE$U$ $AVE$!"

#: "My head's spinning like a broken record player..."

eBay item 2560711511 (Ends 30-Sep-03 04:06:22 BST ) - * OVER THE RHINE Cd SHOW ME *MINT*

Lindsay Marshall: Notes on the Form of Synthesis
or a Language of Patterns

#: The last will be first and the first will be last. ~Q65


this is often hard to hear.
in the short term it sounds even patronizing:
insulting the poor, the loser, the
marginalized;
the unlucky, the careless, the
victim.


for such a saying requires a longer view;
a deeper horizon and the steely courage
to sail toward it.


many get lost in the pursuit of,
or the desire to hold onto,
being first.


no one fights to be last.


but it is often these at the end of
the line, those inhabitors of
the barrel's bottom, who
find themselves with furrowed
brow scanning a horizon
as yet undefined and, with
nothing to lose, discover the
living secret of being last.

BBC NEWS | Business | Wal-Mart battles huge sexism claim

CompuMentor: Jobs. Woah.

Gapingvoid.com :: View topic - FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS: Why is your stuff always so dark and twisted?

"It's because I like to write about people, and people are dark and twisted. If they weren't we wouldn't need art in the first place."

anil dash: Whenever I wonder about random things like "Why are commercial toilets shaped differently than residential ones?" I can usually think through an answer on my own ("Probably so they're easier to clean...") or I can Google up some answers fairly quickly. Just once, I wish the actual answer were something like "This was a decision made by a secret cabal consisting of Freemasons and a murky consortium of international financiers, designed to advance their nefarious goals through control of the world's toilet bowls." But that's never the answer.

oh yes, there's more...

http://watchmedance.com/: the first thing to put a smile on my face for a long time. thanks danceman!

Shared Space 2.0

Saw American Splendor (the movie) last night and, well, it sucks.

sixfoot6.lo.Cal.026.synthetic.nostalgia

#: "Unlike so many who can just leave well enough alone and go find something 'more productive' to do I find myself still combing old book indices into the night and spending every free moment conversing about, writing about, reading about the things that bring a certain coherence to the things we do."

Radiohead Rorschach: An innocent fifth grader's picture is worth a thousand-word critical analysis.

Everything but the Girl
"Single" (from Walking Wounded)

I called you from the hotel phone
I haven't dialled this code before
I'm sleeping later and waking later
I'm eating less and thinking more
And how am I without you?
Am I more myself or less myself?
I feel younger, louder
Like I don't always connect
Like I don't ever connect

And do you like being single?
Do you want me back?
Do you want me back?
And do I like being single?
Am I coming back?
Am I coming back?

I'll put my suitcase here for now
I'll turn the TV to the bed
But if no one calls and I don't speak all day
Do I disappear?
And look at me without you
I'm quite proud of myself
I feel reckless, clumsy
Like I'm making a mistake
A really big mistake

And do you like being single?
Do you want me back?
Do you want me back?
And do I like being single?
Am I coming back?
Am I coming back?
Do you want me back?

And now I know
Each time I go
I don't really know
What I'm thinking
And now I know
Each time I go
I don't really know
What I'm thinking of

Do you want me back?

also, "she" below could definately most likely be "he"

when u pray, shut the fuck up sometimes

2. She
Words: Bergquist/Detweiler
Music: Bergquist

What she would like to do
Is get you out of her head
She's tried every trick
She's so sick of thinking about it

What's so special about you
You're an ache she's learned to crave
You're a blade too dull to raise

But she cuts herself
On you every night
She's just dying
To lay down the knife

What she would love to do
Is get you out of her bed
She's played it over and over and over
In her head

But she cuts herself
On you every night
She's just dying
To lay down the knife

She clings to what's familiar
She thinks a change would kill her

What she ought to do
Is put a gun to your head
For all the things you said and did

But what she will not do
Is let you go before you're gone
It's everything that's ever been wrong
But it's all she's ever known

So she cuts herself on you every night
She's just dyin' to lay down her life

Karin Bergquist: Vocals and Acoustic Guitar
Linford Detweiler: Bass, Acoustic Guitar, Upright Piano, Hammond Organ
Devon Ashley: Drums

3. Nobody Number One
Words: Detweiler
Music: Bergquist/Detweiler

I'm afraid I've lost the piece of me
I need the most you see
This puzzle is really just about the need
To be somebody
I'm afraid I'm not all that you see
All along the coast of me
I'm camouflaged, a desert mirage
A nobody

But you came so close and I assumed
You were looking
For the piece of yourself that's lost
It is the hiding place inside everybody
And though we love to numb the pain
We come to learn that it's in vain
Pain is our mother
She makes us recognize each other

C'mon now child don't cry
C'mon now child don't cry
Let's give it one more try
C'mon now child don't cry

Sometimes I feel so all alone
Here in this city I call my home
They say, Hey, you're one of us
Funny, I should feel so anonymous
But I'm drawn to you
And that still small voice is talking too
And that's the voice that so seldom can get through

You can't put no bandaid on this cancer
Like a twenty-dollar bill
For a topless dancer
You need questions
Forget about the answers
Do you really wanna die this way

That's the trouble with you and me
We always hit the bottom 'fore we get set free
I'm so far down
I'm beginning to breathe

C'mon now child don't cry
C'mon now child don't cry
Let's give it one more try
C'mon now child don't cry
Cuz we're just too young to die

Karin Bergquist: Vocals
Linford Detweiler: Upright Piano, Hammond Organ, Mellotron, Wurlitzer
Devon Ashley: Drums
Tony Paoletta: Pedal Steel
Jake Smith: Bass

el arte de indigo

Going Wild in Urban America: To be an individual hunter-gatherer in America is to lead a lonely life

beliefnet: The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus, an excerpt from Al Franken's Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

To Do, This Weekend @ Gawker heh heh

Upcoming.org: Home

6. How Long Have You Been Stoned
Words and Music: Bergquist/Detweiler

What's it like to be the only somebody in the room
Tell us all what does it cost you to be you
Takin' out Daddy's trash now ain't it a drag
Trippin' on Papa's brand new body bag

How long have you been stoned?

Places
Everybody places
Embrace it
It's the way it has to be
Wasted
Is everybody wasted
Complacent
Is anybody free

How long have you been stoned?

1. Long Lost Brother
Words and Music: Detweiler

I thought that we'd be
Further along by now
I can't remember how
We stumbled to this place

I loved you like a long lost brother
On a bad day maybe I thought why bother
I've seldom seen so much anger
In a face

I wanna do better
I wanna try harder
I wanna believe
Down to the letter

Jesus and Mary
Can you carry us
Across this ocean
Into the arms of forgiveness

I don't mean to laugh outloud
I'm trying to come clean
Trying to shed my doubt
Maybe I should just keep
My big mouth shut

More often than not
When it comes to you
You want whatever's not in front of you
Deep down I know this includes me too

So tell me your troubles
Let your pain rain down
I know my job I've been around
I invest in the mess
I'm a low cost dumping ground

Trouble is I'm so exhausted
The plot, you see, I think I've lost it
I need the grace to find what can't be found

I wanna do better
I wanna try harder
I wanna believe
Down to the letter

Jesus and Mary
Can you carry us
Across this ocean
Into the arms of forgiveness

http://csszengarden.com :: erotica

as

web designers :: pornographers

4. Jesus In New Orleans
Words: Detweiler
Music: Bergquist

The last time I saw Jesus
I was drinking bloody mary's in the South
In a barroom in New Orleans
Rinsin' out the bad taste in my mouth

She wore a dark and faded blazer
With a little of the lining hanging out
When the jukebox played Miss Dorothy Moore
I knew that it was him without a doubt

I said the road is my redeemer
I never know just what on earth I'll find
In the faces of a stranger
In the dark and weary corners of a mind

She said, The last highway is only
As far away as you are from yourself
And no matter just how bad it gets
It does no good to blame somebody else

Ain't it crazy
What's revealed when you're not looking all that close
Ain't it crazy
How we put to death the ones we need the most

I know I'm not a martyr
I've never died for anyone but me
The last frontier is only
The stranger in the mirror that I see

But when I least expect it
Here and there I see my savior's face
He's still my favorite loser
Falling for the entire human race

I am Jack's deep, unrecovering feeling of rejection.

Ben Hammersley's Dangerous Precedent: Back in the saddle again: "Starting in a hollowed log of wood--some thousand miles up a river with infinitesimal prospect of returning, I ask myself 'Why?' and the only echo is 'damned fool!...the Devil drives.'"
- Sir Richard Burton

Now that I'm blogging like crazy, Blogger is pissing me off just as much as it ever did. They fixed everything that sucked before, but added twice as many sucky things in the process. :P

lowbrow dot com: "Lowbrow.com is dedicated to bringing you the best user submitted content about scraping the bottom and being a general piece of shit.
It is about moments where you said something completely inappropriate, where you stuck your foot in your mouth, or stamped the air out of some poor fuck's lungs.
Lowbrow.com is about calling people names, shitting in their pudding, pushing them down stairs, eating white bread and expired fruit pies from the bakery outlet and drinking 'charcoal filtered' vodka - straight from the plastic two liter bottle.
Lowbrow.com is about vomiting on a city bus, mistaking someone's sex, driving your car through a garage door, taking swings at police, and standing on the front step of your trailer home with a loaded shotgun and a can of Old Milwaukee's Best.
Lowbrow.com is about criticizing people, it's about knowing what's right, being better than the next guy, and spouting barstool philosophy.
Lowbrow.com is about sweat stains on your wife beater t-shirt, shaving your head, but not your mutton-chops, owning cars with 't-tops,' eating at fast food restaurants, and having full-time diarrhea.
Lowbrow.com is not about unrequited love, being dumped, or teen angst - unless there is an unbelievably cruel, nasty or embarrassing aspect to the story. Stories of infidelity, incredible sex with strangers, and/or sitting home alone masturbating are, however, encouraged.
Write us at low at lowbrow dot com if you have any questions, you clueless piece of shit.
- The Management"

lowbrow dot com: "college english comp class.
20 chairs in a circle.
Exercise in writing honestly.
My turn comes up.
I tell the class that I would love nothing more than to tickle-fuck the professor.
I am now having a hard time getting my transcripts sent to another school.
Fucking honesty."
- dandypants@yourassoc.org

Global Rich List

languagehat.com: RDIAENG.: "Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. ceehiro."

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"
Albert Einstein

children's prayers

I am going to use this space to vent, monitor, stay sane. As usual.

Today the weather is really pissed off with a fuck-all-hope front moving in from the east.

Ciao.

Living again in suburbia, being forcefully yanked from what I had considered my natural environment, I had this short but interesting observation:

Nothing can happen organically in the suburbs, no spontaneous creation. Let me explain: you could never invent bicycling or skateboarding (or...) in the suburbs, because your only transportation option is a car. I think the example to be extended to many other things.

Anyway, just a thought.

this post says nothing, so fuck off.

somebody should shoot that guy. i love jack chick. he's the shit.

the best thing is when the medical field can humilate you for as long as possible and as severely as possible. that's when you know they are doing their job. that's when you know they are putting to good use all that federally/pharmecutical funded medical school money. that's when you know they've got the hypocratic oath down.

ever had your balls wanded? no? well it's just fucking great let me tell you.

people complain about their work and blah blah blah and cry cry cry. well i haven't had a job for two and a half years. they stopped paying me unemployment a year ago--god bless the united states!--and i've been living out of friend's living room couches for six months. i'm about to run out of friends.

my microwave's timer can only go up to 99:00. fortunately, it only takes 97 minutes on power level 10 to cook my soul until it explodes.

http://216.131.88.114/chick/

i'm definately not a pacifist. no way, no how. somebody's threatening me and mine with violent force? you betcha i'm going to stand by my friends and brothers in arms.

blow the assholes' fucking heads off, that's what i say. what are you going to do, wait for the baddies to run amok all over your land, blow your head off and then rape your wife and daughters?

that's what i thought. grab your fucking gun sissyboy.

i didn't know so many other people had a duct tape fetish?

just wondering

when porn stars or gay men do the whole anal thing, do they have to do an enema beforehand? how do they keep shit from getting everywhere?

i love this site: http://www.chick.com/
check out http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0042/0042_01.asp

oops forgot the link -- get your war on number 18

STEAL THIS BOOK
By Abbie Hoffman

"She doesn't leave the bathroom until the toilet stops running because it might overflow. She won't run a dishwasher unless she'll be there the whole time it runs. She called the fire department once because we had a slight burning smell in our kitchen..."

Hiring women to clean barefoot for clients who like to watch $20-25hr

Reply to: barefootmaidsboston@hotmail.com
Date: Mon Jan 13th 03:14


Barefoot Maids is a house/apartment cleaning service. We do everything from dusting and organizing to vacuuming and cleaning windows. We are based out of the Allston/Brighton area but also service Brookline, Fenway and the Back Bay.

The "catch idea" for our business is that we clean barefoot as to not track in dirt from shoes as well as to show clients that our feet will be as clean as the customer's house or apartment by the time we are finished. Though frankly, our best clients are the ones who simply like women's feet!

We are hiring for full-time and part-time (5-20 hours/week) and for all hours of the day as well as weekends. Starting rates are between $20 to $25/hour. No experience is required and the only requirements are to be courteous, reliable, friendly and to have clean and pedicured feet.

Please reply with your phone number and a good time to reach you. Thanks!

Barefoot Maids



Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reposting this message elsewhere is OK.
this is in or around Boston